Surgery #3

        Someone that has never had cancer does not understand the fear a cancer survivor has going into their next appointment. Friends and family can be there for you and tell you everything is going to be alright but, until they are in your position and have to lay down on the table to be examined for cancer, they will not truly understand that fear. 

     It was July 2014 and I was going home to visit family and of course to get checked to see if I was in remission. My trips home seemed to always be centered around going up to Cleveland Clinic and seeing if the cancer has returned. I can never just go home for leisure anymore, it is always a trip to the doctor that brings me back up north. My doctors appointment this time had been scheduled for a day before I was supposed to return back to Georgia. My dad and I once again headed up to Cleveland Clinic to see Dr. Shin. I had been offered a job at the school I was an athletic trainer for the previous year, to be a full-time teacher and was eager to get back and get started. My friend/gymnastics coach, Amy, was at the Cleveland Clinic going through her radiation to remove the rest of her thyroid cancer. We got lunch together and talked about how crazy it was that we both had thyroid cancer. It was then time for me to go to my appointment. We got there and Dr. Shin performed the ultrasound and just said "I'm Sorry." Of course I knew what that meant, the cancer was back and I would need another surgery. I was on a roll now, every 6 months I would need a surgery. I was beyond frustrated. Dr Shin had a opening for the following day for surgery. I jumped at the opportunity to have surgery quickly so that I could return to Georgia. I was missing TJ and just wanted him there with me. We drove home and called family and friends to inform them of the news. I was depressed and so frustrated, I just wanted to live my life cancer free.
      The next morning we drove back up to the Cleveland Clinic for my surgery. Dr. Shin had told me that the surgery would take a few hours. I was wheeled into the operating room and giving anesthesia.  I woke up in the recovery room and about five hours had passes sense I was taken in. I was confused, why had it taken so long? The nurse came in and told me that one of my blood vessels was clipped during the procedure and that that is why it had taken so long. Everything was okay now though and the bleeding was controlled. Dr. Shin told me that they had taken 6 lymph nodes out and sent them to pathology and I would need to return for my follow up appointment in one week and then I could return to Georgia.
     I returned a week later and the pathology report showed metastatic papillary thyroid carcinoma tall cell variant in four of the six lymph nodes, the largest measuring 1.7cm in diameter. She told me that she would monitor me every three months instead of six months now. I would need to return in October during my fall break. At that time we would determine if I should have radiation.
     The cancer was gone for now but Dr. Shin told me this more then likely would not be my last surgery as tall cell variant was an aggressive cell type. Not the news I wanted to hear but I was good for now and ready to move on with my life. Until next time Ohio. 

Modified Radical Neck Dissection

Modified Radical Neck Dissection... I don't know about you but, the name of the procedure I was about to have just scared me. Dissection? Didn't you do a dissection on something that was dead? I once dissected a frog in 8th grade. Why was I having a dissection done? What all were they taking out?
It was the end of January and I was headed back to Ohio to have my procedure done. I was feeling very low and depressed. TJ and I had stopped talking and I felt very alone. Although, the day before I headed home, we had talked and hung out for awhile. I was hopeful when I got back that we could hang out again.
So many thoughts were running through my mind. Was I going to have to have a surgery every 6 months? Why did the radiation not work?
I flew home and the next day and I had to go in for my surgery.
Surgery day had come and I was worried about the drain that they were going to have to put in. The thought of having a drain coming out of my neck freaked me out. I went in for my surgery and Dr. Shin was cheerful and eager to get started. She told me everything was going to be okay and she was going to try and get everything.
So I counted backwards from 10...9...8...........
The next thing I know I am waking up to Dr. Shin checking my drain. She was worried about the color of the fluid coming out. It needed to be a clearish yellow color and was a slightly milky color. She told me I needed to be on a low fat diet and that she would send a dietitian to talk to me about what I could eat. So, now I had a drain in my neck and I could not eat much. Not to mention my dad had promised me the cheesecake factory after my surgery and with a limit of 10 grams of fat a day, I'd say cheesecake was out of the question. They brought me my food which consisted of cereal, a salad with no dressing, and an apple. She told me I was to be on the diet for about 5 days and then I could go back to eating normal. I had chyle leak which is a leak in my lymphatic system. I either stayed on this diet or Dr. Shin would have to go back in and repair the leak. I chose the diet but was NOT thrilled about it, I wanted my cherry cheesecake!!!
After a night in the hospital I was headed home. On the way home I started to feel nauseous. I got settled in on the recliner and fell asleep for a little. I woke up to feeling EXTREMELY nauseous. I went to sit up and go to the restroom but I could not make up, I threw up all over myself. Now, throwing up is crappy by itself but, when you just had neck surgery and have a drain in your neck it is even worse! For the first time I truly felt like a cancer patient. 
As the days progressed it did not get much better. My neck was swollen, I could not shower with the drain in and I could not sleep flat on my back without feeling super nauseous. Not one friend had called or stopped over to visit me. I was VERY frustrated and sad. I felt like I was going through this without the support of friends. Thank God for family! My doctor and I had been texting back in forth. I had to send her pictures of my drain for her to assess if the diet was working. On Saturday, she told me I could eat a little more fat so I ate some spaghetti. Not even an hour later, the fluid in my drain was extremely milky. I was back to 10g of fat a day.
I was scheduled to get my drain out on Monday but due to the amount of fluid my neck was still draining, the appointment got pushed to Wednesday, the day before I was supposed to return to Georgia.
When I finally got my drain out I was so HAPPY!! I could finally shower and wash my hair by myself! My neck was very irritated from the tape and was swollen and sore. I was happy though I was headed back to Georgia tomorrow to see TEEJ!
Then the snow storm of 2014 hit Atlanta and my flight was canceled. I was stuck in Ohio for another day. I finally got a flight out and was able to get back home. TJ met me at Groome and took me home. I did not know where we stood in our friendship, he took my bags up and left. I felt alone. I really wanted my friend back. About a half hour later, TJ text me that I could come hang out if I wanted. I was so happy to have someone here to hang out with.
Sense then TJ has been my rock. We have turned our friendship into a relationship that continues to grow each day. He is my support system and reminds me to be happy and trust in God each and every day.

Everything happens for a reason.

Isaiah 66:9 I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born.