Move to Georgia....1st Emory Visit

The day of my post op visit I moved down to Georgia to start my new job. My dad and I packed up the car and we’re on our way for our 13+hour journey. My wiener dog, Cheerio, was along for the ride as well.

We were going to try and push thru the long ride but realized we would not be able to do anything or move anything in if we did not get some rest along the way. Just outside of Atlanta we stopped and got a few hours rest in a motel.

We arrived in Columbus, Georgia around 9am, perfect timing to move into my new place. Thankfully, I had helpful neighbors because I was not allowed to lift anything heavy for another few days. We got all settled in and I was able to rest for a while.

I started to feel a lot better, just tired. I think the new excitement of moving to a new place and starting a new job, helped me mentally conquer some of the affects I was having.

As the days went by, my mom got on me about finding a doctor down here. It was frustrating trying to find a doctor because I needed someone that specialized in thyroid cancer. I found plenty of endocrinologist but not many that specialized in thyroid cancer. When I did find a physician, she was located at Emory Clinic, which is 2 hours from Columbus.

I called Emory and could not get an appointment for over a month! I don’t understand why it takes so long to get appointments in the south.

As the month went on, I grew more and more frustrated. I was constantly tired and would revolve my life around sleeping. My typical day would be:

8am – Wake Up

8:30-9:30 – Crossfit

10:00 – 1:00 – Sleep

1:00 – 2:30 – Lunch and getting ready for work

3:00 – 7:00 – Work

7:30 – 8:00 – Dinner

8:00 – 9:00 – Sleep

9:00-10:00 – Homework

10:00 – Bedtime

My life was miserable and I didn’t have family or close friends around to help me. I did have one friend that helped me out tremendously, Liv Duncan. I met Liv last year; she was an athlete at Newberry College. Liv lives down here with her husband who is stationed at Fort Benning. Liv would do anything for me and helped me get through some of the rough times I’ve had here in Columbus.

The month finally past and it was time to make the trip up to Emory. Liv came with me as my support system. We tried to make it a day of fun. We planned to have lunch with one of my college friends, go shopping, and make a trip to the indoor trampoline park, Sky Zone.

After having lunch with Sabrina, we headed to Emory. The doctor was friendly but I didn’t feel as great of a connection with her as I did with Dr. Shin. She told me that I would need to have a radioactive iodine treatment (RAI) and that I would have to go on a low iodine diet and stop my snythyroid before I would be able to take the pill. She told me I would get a call from nuclear medicine. She didn’t give me a time frame just that they would call me.

That’s about all the information she gave me. I left will very few answers and I felt frustrated and upset. Stopping my synthroid would make me even more tired then I was already experiencing. I couldn’t imagine sleeping anymore then I already was.

I waited and waited for a phone call from nuclear medicine. I must have called at least twice a week. Finally, after about two and half weeks they called me with an appointment time. They told me they would be sending me more information about the specifics of what I needed to do regarding the low iodine diet and stopping my synthroid.

I got the information in the mail and read over it. The low iodine sounded so horrible! I wasn’t allowed to have anything with salt, no dairy, no eggs, no seafood, no bread, and no chocolate and that was just to name a few. I was lost. What was I going to eat? I went on to the thyca website and found a cookbook that had a ton of recipes.

I decide I would get all the ingredients that I would need and make all my meals on Sunday’s.  The first week of the low iodine started and I made my meals on that Sunday for the week. Some of the meals were not bad but most of them were bland.

For the first week, I did great with sticking to the diet. When the next Sunday came around, I had absolutely no energy to do anything. I was sleeping more and more each day. I still had 2 more weeks of this stupid diet!

I stopped eating. I had no energy to prepare anything and any foods that I could prepare fast and easy, I couldn’t eat because almost everything contained iodine. It was so frustrating! I broke down and cried several times during the last 2 weeks.

I became very cold being off my snythyroid and being hypo. It was awful. I slept with several blankets and a winter hat because I was so cold. I felt so alone at this time. 

On the last week before radiation, I went to the store on Sunday and could not remember why I was there. When I finally got home, I couldn’t even take Cheerio outside or bring my groceries in. I had to call my friend to help me out. It was rough.

I was having a hard time trusting God. I was so miserable!

Thyroidectomy

It was the day of surgery and the nerves started coming. I was ready to get this horrible disease out of my body. I feared the surgeon would not be able to get it all. I feared it had spread. I feared the ugly battle scar the surgery would leave behind.

I arrived at the Cleveland Clinic bright and early. I was taken back to pre-op to get prepped for surgery. I changed into a hospital gown and slipper socks. Then, I got the best thing of being in the hospital, the warm blanket! I sat there in the hospital bed anxious and nervous about my surgery. The doctors finally gave me some medications to calm my nerves and I started to feel a little more at ease.

My family and friend Suehad were able to come back and see me before the surgery. I guess the medication made me act a little loopy. I had a stuffed animal flamingo and began to talk to it and pet it. Drugs are a powerful thing; it’s crazy how much they can affect your mind.

So, after some time with my family, I was wheeled off to surgery. I was put on the operating table and hooked up to several different machines. I was then told to count backwards from 10.

The next thing I remember is waking up in recovery. I woke up feeling extremely anxious and in pain. The pain wasn’t too severe but, the anxiety was what bothered me the most. Anxiety is probably one of the hardest things to deal with. It feels like you’re having a heart attack and your going to throw up. I just wanted to go back to sleep and wake up when I was at home in my bed.

The nurse came by and asked how I was feeling and gave me medication for pain. My mom and dad were able to come in and see me once I was fully awake. I kept asking for my sister, I just wanted to see my sister but she was not allowed to come back until I was in my room. I asked the nurse if she knew if I was going to have to get radiation. She told me she did not know and that I would have to ask the doctor. Being in the drugged state, I got mad at the nurse and told her she was no help. My family tells me that I offended the nurse but I honestly don’t even remember talking to her.

I was taken to my room for the night, which, was basically set up like an emergency room. I did not have my own room or even a room shared with just one other person; just curtains separated the beds. It was really frustrating at night because they could not turn off lights. They gave me an eye mask and headphones but I just wanted to get out of there. I had to keep using the restroom every 5 minutes and I would kick my slipper socks off every time so the nurse had to keep coming to get me to take me to the restroom and put my socks on. I left bad but I can’t sleep with my socks on.

I was supposed to have a bunch of my gymnastics friends come visit me but the weather was crazy that day so none of them made it. My family and Suehad were there for a while but then they had to go. I had a hard time sleeping with the lights being on and my anxiety of being in a different place was a killer.  I was ready to get out of there. I was happy to wake up in the morning and see my daddy there. (I am such a daddy’s girl) J

I finally got discharged and was told that I would need to take a calcium supplement and tums for a while because; when you have a thyroidectomy your parathyroid glands get messed with. This causes them to shut down and makes your calcium levels low.

For the following days after surgery I did not feel much pain. My neck was sore but, the pain was minimal and I was able to get off my pain medications right away. The numbness, tingling, and fatigue were the worst part. As the days went by it continued to get worse.  I called Dr. Shin several times and she told me to keep taking the supplements and tums and she promised it would subside.  Now, I hate tums. I hate them so much I want to gag from the smell of them. The numbness, tingling, and fatigue became so great that I was taking these like they were candy.  It was miserable! I was moving to Georgia in a few days and I did not want to deal with this.

Thoughts of moving to Georgia kept my mind occupied and the hope that I wouldn’t have to get radiation helped as well. I felt useless. I couldn’t pack. I couldn’t lift anything over 5 pounds. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t workout. I just wanted my life to be back to normal and I not have to sleep 15+ hours a day in order to function.

I needed prayer and I needed guidance. I was being stubborn and not trusting in God. 

Post Diagnosis

Following my diagnosis with the big “C” word, I was lost. What was going to happen next? Chemo? Radiation? Surgery? Homebound? And I hate to say it but, death? All of these thoughts were running through my head as I stepped out of the doctor’s office and into my car.

When I got into my car, I didn’t know what to do. I sat there for a few minutes and then text messaged some friends and family the simple words, “It’s cancer.”

Soon the text started coming in. My mom was the first one to call and said she would be there right away. I sat there in my car, in front of the doctor’s office, just in awe of the news.

My mom got to the office and we hugged, cried, and talked about the next steps. I called Cleveland Clinic and was told I wasn’t able to get in till the following Tuesday. I began to cry on the phone, explaining to the lady that I was planning on moving to Georgia for a job and that I was upset because I thought that I would have to turn down the job and stay at home. She explained to me that I would be able to have surgery the following Wednesday after my original appointment and I could do further treatment (if needed) in Georgia.

I was overjoyed with excitement that this would not ruin my plans to move to Georgia and pursue my master’s degree. I would have been heart broken if I would not have been able to move.

So, after going on a family vacation, which we had to rearrange because my time crunch, I went to Cleveland Clinic for my pre-op visit and to meet my surgeon.

The day started off with the hour and a half drive up to Cleveland. Once we got there it was a maze to find each of the “desks”, as they call them, for my appointments. My first appointment was a blood draw. Nothing big, no big deal there. I guess I knew I was going to have to get used to it with the big “C” diagnosis. Then I had a chest x-ray to make sure I was okay to have surgery and that the cancer had not spread to my lungs. Following the x-ray, I had an admissions interview which was basically just paperwork making sure I had insurance. Finally, I got to meet with my surgeon.

Dr. Shin introduced herself to my family and I. She was very upbeat and friendly. I had a lot of questions for and she was very understanding. She reviewed my lab work that I had sent over from the previous doctor, and then performed another ultrasound. She noticed some enlarged lymph nodes and needed to perform a biopsy on them to see if they were cancer as well.

Unlike the biopsy performed at Salem hospital, Dr. Shin did not numb my neck before performing the biopsy. It takes a lot for me to cry from physical pain but this brought tears to my eyes.

Once that was over, we talked more with Dr. Shin about my surgery and what was going to happen afterwards. She explained that I would have my entire thyroid taken out and that I would need to take thyroid hormone pills for the rest of my life. I also may need radiation following my surgery but we wouldn’t know for sure until we got the pathology report.

So, we left Cleveland Clinic with some answers and of course some questions left unanswered until after surgery. I was optimistic about the outcome of the surgery. I was ready to kick cancers butt!

During this whole experience before surgery I questioned God continuously. Why me? Why now? It’s hard to say it, but I became angry with God. I stopped praying. I stopped going to church. I stopped reading my bible. I knew that’s not what God wanted, he wanted me to trust him fully with all my heart and not stray away from him during this hard time but I couldn’t put my anger aside and trust in his plan.

Cancer Diagnosis

When life gets us down we’ve got to keep moving. We’ve got to push through life and make it to the good things God has in store for us.

In July 2013, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer with minimal lymph node involvement. I was 23 at the time and I’m 24 now. A cancer diagnosis of any kind is difficult but, when you are moving away and starting graduate school in a few weeks, the diagnosis becomes even scarier.

Many people wonder how I was diagnosis and what my symptoms were. To be honest, I had no symptoms. I went to the doctor in December because I had bronchitis, the doctor was feeling my neck and felt a nodule. I then was sent for an ultrasound of my neck to see what was going on. Mind you, all of this was happening during my Christmas break home from my internship in South Carolina. I was able to get my ultrasound done at home before I headed back down south. Before I left, the ultrasound results showed that I had a 2.6 cm nodule on the right thyroid lobe. Being 23, I did not think much of it. My aunt has had several nodules on her thyroid with benign results, so I assumed my biopsy would turn out the same.

I returned back to South Carolina to finish my internship. I got into a general doctor, I was told I needed to go to a specialist to get the biopsy completed. After a week of waiting, I was told I could not get an appointment till the end of April. Not thinking much of it, I took the appointment and waited. My thoughts were, “I’m 23 I don’t have cancer.” As the months went by, I realized that I was leaving a week after my appointment and the initial appointment would not even be the biopsy. I made the decision to wait until I went back home to Ohio to get the biopsied performed.

I returned to Ohio in early May and started working at the family owned dairy queen. I kept putting off and putting off calling the doctor, to schedule my biopsy. I finally got the courage to call up the doctor and get it scheduled. The doctor got me in the next day for my biopsy. (Side note: Its crazy how much faster you can get into a doctor up north)

Going into the doctor for the biopsy was very nerve-racking. I wasn’t sure how I felt about a needle going into my neck. Being a negative Nancy at times, I had fears that it was cancer. The biopsy was not as bad as expected. It lasted maybe a half hour and was over.

Now the waiting process began.

The doctors told me it would a week for the results. I waiting through the week nervously and then called the doctor, only to find out that the specimens had to be sent off for further testing and it would be another week.

I started to get stressed hearing that the results had to be sent off for more testing. I left for Las Vegas for my National Athletic Training Conference.  I got a call a few days into my trip asking me when I could come in for the results. I got home from my trip on Friday and had to wait till Monday to get in to get the results. I was extremely frustrated and just wanted to know one way or the other if it was cancer or not. Finally, Monday came. I went into the doctor all smiles not thinking anything of it. My doctor walks in 5 minutes later and blandly says, “Its cancer. Come on lets go get you a doctor.” Mind you, I’m at the doctor’s office by myself, no friends or family around. I just moved along not knowing what to say or do. I left the office with no more then a phone number of a doctor in Cleveland.

Through this time, I became depressed, but the thing that bothered me most is the possibility that I may have to stay at home and get treatment. I feared I would not be able to move down to Georgia like I’d been looking forward to all year.

It’s hard to trust in God in situations like these. Many things that were once important to me became non-essentials. My health became a top priority. Mentally, my strength was beginning to diminish and I just could not understand why God would put such a horrible disease in my body at the 23 year old. I needed to trust in God and understand that everything happens for a reason.