"You've got to wait till after 3 miscarriages before testing."

 After my second miscarriage I was determined to seek help and not wait for another miscarriage to happen. A lot of times in the medical community they tell you they do not do anything/begin testing until you have 3 consecutive miscarriages. Thats just crazy to me! I've got to go through 3 loses until they run a reoccurent loss panel...for which I am paying for? I wasn't okay with that. I asked my doctor to refer me to a fertility specialist. She stated she could run the reoccurent loss panel after the pregnancy hormones were out of my system and she would put a referral in but she didn't know if they would do anything since I've ONLY had two losses. My loses happened back to back with no cycle in between. We were 2 for 2. We tried 2 months and got pregnant immediately both times. Sure it could be a genetic abnormality with the embryo but I wasn't willing for that to be my only answer without further testing. 

I called around in Huntsville to the two fertility clinics but they did not accept our insurance so it would have been all out of pocket. I would have been fine paying out of pocket if I had to, we would have figured out a way to make it work but our insurance has infertility coverage so we just had to find where to go. Calling around and getting the run around we found out that UAB Reproductive Endocrinology and Infertility was where we needed to be. I called our insurance and surprisingly we actually have pretty good  fertility coverage we just have to go to UAB which is about an hour and a half from our house. When I called to schedule my appointment I was asked if I preferred a male or female provider which I preferred female but if it was going to get me in sooner I would go with a male. My appointment was scheduled for March 22 which was about 6 weeks away. At the time I thought that was so long and it was going to delay me getting pregnant again, as I didn't want to get pregnant before we got the testing done. In reality it came at a PERFECT time, which was a God thing...teaching me patience and helping me to heal not only physically but mentally as well. I literally, FINALLY, got a negative pregnancy test the weekend before my appointment and started my first period post miscarriage and first one since October, due to back to back pregnancies. 

Daniel had gotten the day off and we were headed up to Birmingham hopeful for some answers. It's pretty intimidating walking into a fertility clinic, its definitely not a place anyone chooses to go to. I always had a fear I wouldn't be able to get pregnant but the fear of miscarriage never crossed my mind. I had filled out all the paperwork prior to coming and made sure I was as accurate as possible and Daniel of course adding his little comments haha part of being married to a doctor. Everyone was super nice at the clinic. I felt very comfortable and in good hands.

The doctor was great and very thorough. We went over my history and were able to ask as many questions as we wanted. I never felt rushed or "just a number". It was great! We went over the plan and were given the okay to track ovulation and try for a pregnancy again. We got all the labs ordered including:

Hemoglobin A1C - assess for diabetes 

PRL - checks prolactin levels in blood

TSH/T4 - thyroid labs

TPO Ab - thyroid antibodies

APLS - antiphospholipid syndrome (clotting issues)

Parental karotyping - checks for balanced translocations for both Daniel and I

Urine test for mycoplasma and ureaplasma (Due to Daniel requesting...no signs I had this)

We were warned that everything could come back normal. I wasn't hopefully something would come back abnormal but at the same time I was so we would have an answer for our loses. 

We also scheduled a SIS - Saline Infusion Sonohysterography, which is where they do a transvaginal ultrasound and inject saline to look at the uterus for structural abnormalities. This was scheduled for a week later as I was currently on my cycle and it needed to be done at a specific time in my cycle. 

Our plan was to have timed intercourse and start baby aspirin as well as use vaginal progesterone suppositories in luteal phase.

I felt confident in the plan and was eager to get some answers and try again. My doctor was awesome and as soon as my results came back she communicated in the portal with me the results. Can I just say I LOVE patient portals in the medical community. They are so great and I love having access to my medical records with the click of a button! Really helps with the anxiety and having a super responsive doctor is AMAZING! Definitely feel like we made the right choice, guided by God. God placed us in the right hands! As much as it sucks to travel to Birmingham for every visit, it is completely worth it! 

One thing that came back abnormal was the APLS. It was slightly elevated and the plan is to get tested again in 12 weeks from original test to confirm it and if I get pregnant before then to start lovenox injections and aspirin.

Another thing that came back abnormal was the ureaplasma and I was given an antibiotics for it. Doctor did not think this contributed to my loses at all but since they found it they treated it.  

Everything else came back normal, well besides my thyroid but we already knew that and were working on that. Even our parental karyotyping came back normal which took FOREVER to come back and I was a ball of anxiety the entire time. I was asking for prayers from all my friends and small groups every week. 

Throughout this whole process God is teaching me patience and to let go and let God. 

Luke 12:25-26 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?

Baby Krautter Take Two....is this real?

Days after miscarriage

After my miscarriage I struggled every day just to get out of bed. I knew miscarriage was common but I
guess I never knew how common or really even thought it would happen to me. My mom didn't struggle with pregnancy or miscarriage nor did Daniel's. I always had a fear that I would have a hard time getting pregnant or wouldn't be able to get pregnant. The thought of miscarriage never crossed my mind. I did not want to get back on my anxiety medications as I wanted to get pregnant again and didn't want to be on anything. I would literally do the bare minimum. Get up, go to work, come home and cry in bed. Every little thing would set me off crying. Daniel would try and cheer me up but every little thing I would cry. I know I was only 5.5-6 weeks along but I had envisioned the life we were going to have with this baby. It just hurt and still does honestly to have that ripped away.

My Joy

 Christmas was coming and I just could not get into the holiday spirit. It just didnt feel right. I was working at a PRN job which was more or less full time and I enjoyed it but I was between 3 different buildings at this point and I was just ready to go full time somewhere. I had been working nonstop since I moved to Huntsville and I knew God was telling me to just slow down. I offered to go full time status at the job but they did not need me full time until probably January. I kept my eye out for other opportunities and a full time home health job fell in my lap! I LOVE home health. It is probably my favorite setting to work in as a physical therapist assistant. I had interviewed with this company twice already in different cities but it just didn't work out as I didnt want to travel that far plus commute to patients homes for work. This position was in Huntsville so it was perfect. I had two interviews and ended up getting the job. My husband was slightly anxious about the interviews as I was an emotional mess. I guess I was able to mask it well and nailed the interviews. It was such a blessing to get this job and be able to have less work and WAY more flexibility. I was also grateful for something positive and something to keep my mind off everything.

Christmas came and honestly it was just depressing. Daniel worked and so it was just me and Ranger. We made the most of it but it just sucked to spend our first married Christmas apart but it is what it is and it is, part of being married to a doctor. I had not gotten my period back yet from my miscarriage but I had been tracking ovulation with OPKs. I knew I had ovulated so we had timed intercourse to try again. First let's back up a little bit, I went to MFM and was pretty much blown off. I had gone to get guidance for my thyroid during pregnancy. I had the appointment made prior to getting pregnant for preconception counseling but wasn't able to get in for several weeks. I did not go because I had had a miscarriage. The doctor told me miscarriages happen and my thyroid had nothing to do with it. I tried to explain that that was not why I was there but it was dismissed. She stated we did not need to wait to try again and I would just need my thyroid checked once a trimester. So armed with that, we decided to try again right away.

Christmas day I was 9-10 days pasted ovulation, DPO, so feeling depressed I decided to take a test knowing it would probably be negative or even too early to show a positive. I took a test and waited impatiently...it was a faint positive. I couldnt believe it. Was this real? This can't be real. I was excited and hopeful but also TERRIFIED! The next day I went and got some more tests. I got 3-5 different brands including a digital. I used all of them and they were all positive! I couldn't believe this was happening again this quick! I was so excited. The excitement quickly fated and the terror started. Instead of going to work and coming home to cry in bed. I would go to work and come home and sleep to check off another day until my first appointment. I was terrified EVERY SINGLE TIME I went to the bathroom. Every ache, pain, cramp, I was scared. I was scared I didn't have any symptoms yet. My last pregnancy I had a lot of breast tenderness this time I had none, was that bad? Why am I not nauseous? I analyzed every single feeling I had, every single bathroom trip was pure terror. My appointment was scheduled for January 31st. I just needed to make it till then.

Line Progression

 I began taking a pregnancy test each morning to see the line progression and make sure it was getting darker to show in my mind my HCG was rising. It helped to see it getting darker but in reality it meant nothing, I had some minor spotting early on and of course I was terrified but luckily it stopped pretty quickly. Around week 5 I began to experience nausea. I began taking unisom and b6 and it was working pretty well....for about a week. I believe the weekend of week 6 I did not leave my bed. I was so nauseous and I was vomitting. I felt awful but I was also happy I was having these symptoms because that meant the pregnancy was progressing right? I eventually was prescribed basically dramamine to help and as long as I took it around the clock I could get through work...barely. 

Weekends were spend in bed and any time I wasn't working was spend in bed. My diet was awful I was literally eating whatever I could get down. I ate a lot of carbs and a lot of chewy granola bars. My poor house was a disaster. I literally couldn't function much above going to work and coming home. The constant nausea helped ease my anxiety though which I was grateful for. 

The day of my appointment comes and I was the most nauseous I had been to this point. I remember getting home from work to pick up Daniel to go to our appointment and I open the car door and just throw up all over the front lawn. It is was rough. We get to the appointment and are going over a few things and then we go to the ultrasound room. I'm scared at this point as ultrasounds and I do not get along. From my thyroid diagnosis to this, ultrasounds are just not good for me and very triggering. We start with a abdominal ultrasound and she can't find a fetal pole so we move to a transvaginal ultrasound, it could still be early to see on abdominal. I felt like we did the ultrasound for hours but I knew it was not good. I can't believe this was happening again! How is this possible? 2% of people have back to back miscarriages. Why am I among the 2%.